And yet, I've seen this shit in fic. Because every dude must have a tear you a new one cock to make for good smut dontchaknow!

...this stupid Drabble is so just an excuse for parody. I'm a bad, bad person. Who is probably going to write Fifty Shades of SoMa. Which isn't what it sounds like. More like the sequel to this awful little one shot.